gorilla

i'm a hairy gorilla which is quite sad, coz that means i have 2 wax twice a day

bunnies that were

Is ignorance negligence? not always. You can't be expected to know everything, to prepare for every eventuality. But our ignorance was inexcusable negligence. Is negligence ever excusable? I don't know.

We had two 1 and 1/2- month old rabbits and one adult. We didn't think it'll be too cold for them on our roof, where we built their enclosure. But the temperature's been dropping - that's what happens when winter is coming - and I think it was a cold wind blowing last night. I went to check on them today early morning before going to school. The two little bunnies were sprawled close to each other on the soil and saw-dust bedding, like they had been blown down by the cold and the wind. They probably cuddled and cuddled until they had no energy left, and then they just lay down and gave in.

The big rabbit ( Waffles ) was hopping about the roof. I like to think that he's disconsolate now, but we'll find him a few bunny friends soon inshAllah, and we'll bring them down into the house in a hutch night-times.

I buried the two bunnies in the sand pit on the way to school.

Do you want to feel like drowning? then go jogging and breathe hard in out in out iieenn ooouutt into the breeze. When you try to breathe in the breeze will push air down your throat and keep pushing and piling air up in your mouth and you can barely stop inhaling then you can hardly exhale at all because you can't blow the breeze the other way round, not even just in front of your mouth.

Do you know that I keep wanting to write a short story, but I can't imagine any story up. I have totally no idea. But I can day dream. I get more than enough of that.                I have a jet-pack on my back and goggles over my eyes and that's all and I've spread my arms like a bird - who's not flapping because he doesn't need to - and i'm all on my own in the quiet sky. There are sand dunes under me and lines of trees between them. Eyes shift focus. From a point in imaginary space to another.         I've invented a new kind of road which is entirely electromagnetic and the cars are actually like the bumper cars in theme parks. If you bump you'll just slide around and bump into a lot of other cars but that way no-one will ever get hurt in a car crash inshAllah. It's funny if you imagine someone trying to drive to work and he get's bumped from here, and spun around, and shoved from the back. It's like a wimp walking through a big bunch of bullies.

Do you wanna know what the cat did? Maybe he thought "I wish I could pluck a bird CLEAN, but I can't get a bird so I'll just shred this tissue".

Prior revision

    I wish I could stop school just for two weeks so I can catch up on all the lessons I didn't understand properly and do the homeworks which will also help me understand better inshAllah.

Progress exams are in a week inshAllah and this time I'm aiming to get top inshAllah, so any kind of comment below will be twisted to motivate me, even if it's from a lawyer who's used to playing around with words and doesn't leave any loose words to be spun and rotated the way I want, or from Ibrahim Hani who can find good demoralizing arguments but is sure to leave loop-holes.

I understand that red tea stains my teeth brown but at least it stops me dreaming and brings me back to the book whenever I have a sip. It's a wizard drink when you stir condensed milk into it.

My friend Firas told me something funny the other day. Women mostly cover themselves fully down here, so it can be a bit confusing when you're trying to look for your mum coming out the masjid or in an ice-skating ring. He was shopping with his mum and went off a while then came up to her and put his arm through hers and his head on her shoulder; in the affectionate way of a big boy who wants to feel like a kid again or who wants new clothes.

The Lady stared at him. He could feel it. Sudden embarrassment like this usually flashes on like an old TV monitor when you turn it on and it buzzes illegible black and white. Too bad Firas.

Meeting friends

yeah, first day of school and you've walked the 2 km to get there and it's just a bit sunny to do so, even though your school bag is empty. There's a lot of cars on the road and they're a bit impatient but they don't honk their horns too much because the morning is kind of too early and lazy for that. Walking by the cars and other boys walking to school and construction workers who've started probably an hour earlier reminds me of my school sandwich for some reason, and I might have forgotten it but I can get money from Abi at school so it's alright inshAllah.

Everyone's in the break yard by then and you recognise your friends in a group some way off and they spot you when you break out from the crowd. As soon as you're close enough to see each other you make eye contact with one of them. You look happily surprised like you just noticed him. Your eyebrows bounce up and you simultaneously blink both eyelids wide open.

As you approach you must look extremely delighted. This can be done by arranging your mouth so it looks like you're trying to suppress a massive smile 'cause you're so happy. Your face actually looks like you're trying to use the bathroom and you have constipation.

As soon as you cover the distance you can hug each other, which is a relief because your head is now behind his face, and you can totally relax your features if no-one is looking. Unfortunately there's probably a group of friends waiting for their turn, so you can't just do that yet. You've got to close your eyes lightly and smile a bit like it's the best feeling in the world to hug someone you haven't seen in four months and who got enough dandruff in his hair to look like a silverback gorilla.

See, it's so awkward going through all this every time you meet someone you haven't seen for a while. Unfortunately it's what my friends expect from me because I've always been like that since I had friends, and if I stop and walk in school with no visible emotion they might think I was really angry over my AS grades, or that my school sandwich had cucumber which wouldn't make me angry anyway because I forgot it at home.

reflection on my writing

Okay, so this is supposed to be a small period of self-reflection, and i'm supposed to write in this period so I can  clearly understand my reflections. Writing will slow my thoughts so I can  verify the scientific integrity of each reflection and when I read it later I'll understand myself better inshAllah.

Whenever I read some really awesome blog I so want to be able to write like that - i'm trying to scoop up any bit of concentration left after Muhammad gave Fatimah a very loud read out of cooking-safely instructions in the kitchen.

My problem with writing is I constantly asses what I've written to make sure my comparisons are accurate and will give the reader the same feeling I felt when I saw whatever it is the comparison is about. Writing also slows my thoughts down so much that they become heavy and constructed brick by brick like a building.

I want them to be like popcorn when you pour it from the frying machine into a big cup and they fall down really lightly and bounce about, and the cup doesn't feel heavy at all though it's a lot of tasty popcorn. I want reading my writing to be like eating popcorn. You don't notice you're going through it at all untill you're done.

I also get very depressed when writing because I keep going back and checking that i'm not trying to write like someone else or that i'm not being too vague or general or that i'm not writing something that sounds fake, like - just had Cinnabon Pecabon, Yaay!, its light and toasty and got roasted nuts and is very sugary, nice feeling in my stomach now - which is fake in so many ways because I don't make a big deal out of eating anything and I didn't feel so like Yaay! when I ate the Pecabon and I can't feel food in my stomach. And anyways talking about what you just ate is a trend in blogging and it's because some bloggers try to pretend they got such childish and happy lives.

It's this compulsive self-assesment which bogs me down so that I forget what I was gonna say next and get this squeezed up upset feeling in my throat and I can't focus anymore and that's why I'd stop.

playing along

erm sorry, the post before last was actually posted by my youngest sister... haha very hilarious..haaahaaa..; sorry can't stop laughing..ehm.haaha